I just want everyone to know right now that I’m currently listening to Christmas music as I write this. And I don’t care how much you dislike Christmas music this early. Go complain to some other Scrooge because I’m not going to listen. And if I do listen I’m just going to drown you out and brainwash you by seducing you with my famous ”Santa Baby” performance — no one can resist my hurry-down-the-chimney-tonights.
To be more specific, I’m listening to “Christmas Time Is Here” from A Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack.
Literally, I have tears welling up in my eyes right now because it makes me want to go ice skate (even though I’m pigeon-toed and physically cannot properly align my feet to ice skate: 
…and it makes me want to go walk around Halls and look at Christmas ornaments and listen to a random guy play the piano with his eyes closed and buy an overpriced white chocolate mocha at Starbucks and drive around and look at Christmas lights while listening to Christmas music and watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation with my family and decorate the -
Eh, I’m sorry. My iTunes shuffle just so rudely interrupted my Christmas thoughts by switching songs from “Christmas Time Is Here” to 50 Cent’s “I’ve Got da Magic Stick.”
Back on track. Now I’m listening to “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Frank Sinatra. I love the classics (Dean Martin, Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, none of that Maroon 5/Ashley Tisdale/Celine Dion junk). Anyway, I can’t help but love the holiday season. Like on Halloween everyone’s all, “Happy Halloween!” and I’m screaming “TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS-TIME!!!” and people are like “ok freak.” But I ignore their low spirits and bask in the happiness of Christmas-y Kay Jewelers and Pilsbury biscuit commercials.
Seriously, do not even ACT like this Wal-Mart commercial didn’t make you tear up a little:
If you overlook the fact that half of Wal-Mart’s products are created by children in sweatshops and let yourself pretend that Wal-Mart actually controls weather patterns, then that commercial has to make you get into the holiday spirit. Also, early holiday marketing makes me look forward to my married life…when this is what I can apparently expect to happen to me every Christmas:
Yeah totally normal for 2 a.m. on Christmas. Even though I’m still not entirely sure that baby’s real so I question the authenticity of the new watch….
One thing that does disappoint me this early holiday season however is the 2009 Holiday Barbie. So sad. So horrifying. See for yourself:
Barbie’s makeup is a TOTAL smear job. They’ve made her look like some wannabe Hannah Montana doll to hand out to your kids on Christmas (Note: Just another example of how Miley Cyrus is ruining the lives of so many).
Anyway, despite these minor mishaps, I love Christmas and you should too.
Good tidings to all till next week
thought that Wal-Mart ad was a nuclear winter, guess i missed the point.
Every time you leave a blog post you give me another reason to love you. and more material to print out for my shrine dedicated to you.
However I disagree with your barbie comment. Barbie is the best, nothing she can do/wear on her face will ever change the magic of Holiday barbie.